


It's my dream

by Clementines



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:09:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11612790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clementines/pseuds/Clementines
Summary: Dean and Seth try to make sense of what's happening with a little help from Roman.





	It's my dream

“Mirrors,' she said, 'are never to be trusted.”  
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

 

Roman is exhausted when he arrives at the hotel. It’s been a tough week and he’s been dreaming of his bed for awhile. He plans on getting to his room, a room he’s thankfully not sharing, and fall down on the bed. He doesn’t even want to change, that’s how tired he is. He's touching the fantasy with the tip of his fingers when he sees Dean perched on a stool at the bar, drowning what looks like a very expansive brand of tequila on his own. He thinks about ignoring him. It wouldn’t be hard. He can take the lift on his left without being seen by his pal and he’s so tempted to do it. He has problems of his own, you know? But then he’s checked social media over the way to the hotel from the arena, Dean and Seth missed reconciliation being everything everyone was talking about. He’s seen the fight, seen the moves of two bodies who still now each other by heart uniting in perfect harmony, seen the sense of home making its way into the two men, but he’s also seen Dean ignoring Seth’s gesture of affection. His favorite lunatic can be a very stubborn man after all. He doesn’t own them shit, but it’s just who he is so he sighs and approaches the bar, sitting next to Dean. 

-Long day? 

The lunatic looks at him then shrugs, taking in another drink.

-You certainly are drinking a lot for someone who’s just won a fight. 

Dean is now glaring at him and Roman knows he should have taken that lift. 

-Come out with it already. 

-Come out with what? 

-I’m an ass for not forgiving Rollins! That’s everyone’s new mantra now. I bet you’re not different. 

Roman shakes his head. It’s amazing how those two idiots have left this hurt them for over three years. 

-I don’t think you’re an idiot. I think you’re just a scared man. 

Dean snorts and turns to look at Roman.

-Scared, me? About what? Rollins’ fan base getting larger than mine?

-Scared about how much you want to let Seth in. He was easy to hate when he was being a jerk, but now that he reminds you of the guy you loved so much… It gets harder, doesn’t it? 

-Don’t. 

-Dean, I’m not pretending to know how it feels. Did Seth hurt me? Yeah, sure, he did. Did he hurt me the way he hurt you? Hell, no, he didn’t. We were close but what you two shared was beyond special. 

Dean sighs and looks at his empty glass, trying to lose himself in the crystal.

-I know you. I know you don’t let people in because it hurts too much when they leave. I know you’ve never let anyone in as deep as him and, because of that, his betrayal hurt you even worst. I know that. 

-Then why the hell aren’t you telling me I should send him to hell?

-’Cause I believe he’s been spending quit some time there. I believe in redemption, Dean. I believe in fucked up people who choose to do the right thing, even if it’s too late. Don’t you think he has paid enough for his sins? 

-I don't trust him. 

It’s Roman turn to snort. The big dog puts a comforting hand on his brothers' back. 

-Neither do I. Not completely at least. When I look at him there’s always some part of me thinking about that chair going through my back. I can’t help it. It's there, lurking in the shadows, tainting everything he does.

-What do you do to make it stop?

-I don’t, I just hope it will fade someday. I’m not saying you should trust Seth, Dean, but maybe you should cut him some slack. The guy looks like he really wants to make things right. 

-I don’t if I can. I’m not the forgiving type. 

-Maybe it’s time to find out, don't you think? 

Roman pats Dean’s shoulder one last time before going up to his room, finding his awaited dream and hoping, in the back of his mind, that those two idiots can work things out. They’re his brothers after all. 

***

He’s alone in the gym, training as hard as he can. Of course he’s alone in the gym, who else would want to work out at 4 am? No one. At least no one sane. Seth is throwing punch after punch into that gym bag, thinking about stupid Dean Ambrose and his stupid betrayal and the stupid three years that have gone by. He wishes he could go back to the past. He wishes he could talk to that Seth and yell in his face it was not worth it, but he can’t. It doesn’t matter how many times he goes through everything again in his head because the script has been written and the movie filmed. 

He fucked up, yes, but he didn’t kill anybody. He’s tried to make amends. He’s tried to become the good guy. He’s face the authority and has proved his value as a wrestler. He has shown the world he has what it takes to make it on his own and the public has given him the second chance he’s been asking for. Roman has given him the second chance he’s been asking for. Why the hell can’t Ambrose do the same things? He’s not stupid. He’s not asking for things to go back to how they were before shit hit the fan. He’s not expecting laughs in the corridors, impromptu half faked fights and stolen kisses at midnight. He’s not expecting Dean to love him, or to like him even. He just wants a tiny chance to prove himself, even if it takes years, even if all they can rebuild is not half of what they used to be, but Dean won’t even give him that. Oh, he knows. He knows Dean is different. He knows he has some kind of fucked up honor code where loyalty determines a person’s worth. He knows how much hurt he’s been through because of people like him. He knows because he knows him better than anybody else, at least he used to, but he was still expecting a semblance of a chance. He’s getting tired of groveling for forgiveness. There’s just a limited amount of times he can ask for Dean’s affection before giving up. He has some dignity to preserve. At least that what he tells himself to ignore the fear gripping at his stomach when he hears that little voice in the back of his head that whispers “he’s over it. He’s over you. He just doesn’t give a fuck anymore.”

-It’s funny, it makes me somehow mad to still know you so well after all this time. Of course you’d be in the gym. You can’t sleep like a normal person, can you? 

Seth stops punching the gym bag for a second and throws a look at Dean. 

-Look, if you’re here to tell me how much you hate me, it’s crystal clear, ok? You made your point. You made your point in front of the whole fucking world so, please, it’s been a long day and I just want to punch the living shit out of this. 

-I don’t hate you, Seth. I’ve never hated you. 

That gets Seth's attention. He stops throwing punches and catches his breath, bracing himself for what’s to come. 

-You were special. You found your way in. 

Seth turns around and takes a good look at Dean. There are dark bags under his eyes and he looks like Hercules carrying the world on his shoulders. He looks as tired as Seth. 

-It was hard, you know? You don’t have any idea of how hard it was letting you go. It was hard letting you go and it’s as hard to let you back in, but hate you? I’ve tried, believe me, but it’s as useless as your hair. 

Seth cracks a smile at that and his stomach literally hurts remembering how Dean was the only one to really make him laugh. 

-I miss you. I really do, but I don’t trust you. The truth is I don’t know if I ever will. 

Seth nods, feeling the brokenness inside him expand again. 

-I wish I could go back. I’ve had this dream overt he years where I’m back at that point where Hunter comes to me and I tell him no. Every single time I tell him no, Dean. 

Dean smirks, sadness etched into his features. What a waste. 

-But it’s just a dream, isn’t it?

Seth shrugs.

-It’s my dream.

Dean nods, he wishes it was his dream too. He gets up and starts walking towards the door when Seth’s voice stops him dead in his tracks. 

-I won’t stop, Dean. I will prove to you I’m worth a second shot. My words can’t do shit, but my actions will convince you. 

If only you could be right, thinks Dean as he walks away. If only you could be right. 

 

“in a world  
full of  
temporary things

you are  
a perpetual  
feeling.” 

― Sanober Khan


End file.
